


Now in my heart I see clearly

by nightmarishfae



Category: Lovestruck - Fandom, Otome, Sweet Enchntments, lovestruck voltage
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Big Gay Love Story, Developing Relationship, Eating Disorders, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Relationship(s), Temporary Amnesia, Triggers, lovestruck, lovestruck voltage - Freeform, sweet enchantments, this is gonna be a rollercoaster y'all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-06-29 15:24:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19833016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmarishfae/pseuds/nightmarishfae
Summary: It feels like a mad circus is everywhere around. The anniversary event is nearly upon Sweet Enchantments, Liora is as indecisive about their relationship as she ever was and the government officials can come and drag Maggie home at any moment. What now?Join Maggie and the Sweet Enchantments crew on a road full of heartbreak, hurt,  confusion, happiness, but most importantly, healing.(There will most definitely be triggers, but I will always warn in advance. I put the rating to T for now, but fair warning, here be smut.)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> this note is going to be longer, but I would ask for you to bear with me. First off, thank you to the teeny tiny Liora community on tumblr for telling me to write this. I hope it will meet all of your expectations. Second, I changed how the MC looks a little bit. You should be able to find the rough sketch on my tumblr once I am not so horribly lazy xd.  
> This work will most probably not stick to canon, maybe follow some of the scenes, but other than that, it's free real estate. From how I see it, this will be as multichapter as it can get and will be wrapped up when it feels right. I don't know how often I'll manage to scrumble up updates, hopefully at least once a week.  
> It has also been quite some time since I have written something, so please, be patient and rember that comments and constructive criticism is always welcome.  
> This work does not have a beta reader, so apologies for any mistakes that you'll find. I will always appreciate if you point them out to me so I can fix them.
> 
> That said,  
> let's get started.

Lying awake in the darkness of Liora's bedroom with the epitome of the goddess holding her tight as she slept, Maggie has never found herself more content. Up until now, all of her relationships have been disaster after disaster. But this? How did she ever get so lucky? Despite everything that has happened in the past few weeks, everything that she learned and witnessed, this seemed to be most surreal of all. Liora, beautiful, kind, mind-blowing Liora caring for her. Maggie was very reluctant to think of how far this caring went. But she got kissed and held, by possibly the most amazing woman to ever exist. So she counted herself very happy.

The young woman got pulled from her gay-induced hazy thoughts when Liora stirred, exhaling very slowly so as not to disrupt the sorely needed rest. Liora merely shifted a little, pulling Maggie closer and nuzzling the back of her neck. Warmth covered every inch of her body, pale cheeks flaming in the darkness. She was beyond blissed out, feeling the soft dark arms wrapped around her and warm breath moving her hair. But despite this little heaven Maggie found herself in, a particularly nasty and insistent (really, how did it get to be so annoying when it was so small?) part of her brain wouldn't shut up. 

It kept going on and on, making her head spin with all the doubts and worries. Funny, how she assured Liora that everything would be fine, when she herself knew that it very probably won't. As much as she wished she could stay here forever, Maggie wasn't (despite the fact that she often seemed so) nearly naïve enough to believe the government will just let her stay. Going from what everybody told her, they didn't seem like a particularly nice bunch of people. Add the fact that Maggie was about as human as one could be and the chances of her being allowed to stay were next to zero. Her stomach twisted painfully, merely thinking about it. Very carefully, she cuddled closer to the warmth of the body next to her, just the presence soothing her frantic mind. A little. Maggie couldn't help but fear, with all that she was, that these might as well be the last weeks, or who knows, days, here at Sweet Enchantments.

Desperate not to think about it, not now, she bit her lip and wiped the treacherous tear that slid down her cheek. No. This would not do. She would hold on to the happiness she found here, with both hands. Each moment spent with Liora and people she came to know as her closest friends would be rightfully cherished and enjoyed, kept close to her heart. Problems would be solved as they would come. One by one. And Maggie was, despite what the nasty voice whispered to her, not alone. She bit her lip again, deeper, chastising herself with a roll of her eyes. _The others would love that, hearing how little faith you have in them._

„Maggie?“

The voice was low and smooth, just like dark chocolate. And it was also all sorts of cracked up and plain out adorable. It did things to Maggie, even in her self induced meltdown. She wanted to bury her face in the pillow and squeal, but she was very sure that would not be appreciated. Instead, Maggie forced the best impression of sleepiness on her face and threw a soft _mhmm_ at Liora. There was no way the younger woman would add onto the pile Liora already had on her plate with her dumb worries.

„Is everything alright?“

Not being able to resist (who could, really), Maggie turned and snuggled herself nice and close, delighting in how the warmth of the other woman unconsciously soothed away every ache and trouble, without trying. For a little, she wondered if it was some part of the healing magic or the fact that Liora was, quite possibly, the purest angel to ever exist.

„'S fine, sleep now,“ mumbled Maggie, whose face was most definitely not buried into Liora's chest, thank you very much. Either her acting skills were good enough, or Liora was too tired to notice, but she fell asleep quickly again, but not before chuckling sleepily and holding her closer. The smaller woman was immediately distracted by the precious moment that just happened, cheeks warm and lips stretched into an involuntary smile. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the room turning a little bit lighter. Squeezing her eyes shut, Maggie felt eternally grateful for Liora's presence being able to calm her down. She should be able to get in an hour or two of sleep. 

Heaviness falling over her eyes, Maggie had but a moment to be grateful for the nights she stayed awake typing reviews for learning her how to function on nearly no rest before Liora's warmth finally started lulling her to sleep. Sighing softly, Maggie dared to place feather light kiss on the collar bone under her lips, murmuring a quiet thank you. Then, the darkness claimed her.

They would figure the problems as they came. One after another. Together. 

Little did she know, things really were a little too good to be true.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things don't necessarily go as well as everyone would like them to and unexpected visitor turns up at the cafe.  
> -  
> TRIGGER WARNING (very brief mentions of past self harm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter written out. It got deleted. Take two. I am very upset xd. It's never gonna be as heartfelt as it was the first time. 
> 
> Lovestruck played me dirty you guys. First, they mess up my headcanons (which are still going to appear in this work for sure), then they slam in the free CG and make me look forward to free fluffy moment, only to proceed and ask me for 27 hearts. Which I don't have. The night time cuddling cost me everything.
> 
> WARNING, THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS BRIEF MENTIONS OF PAST SELF HARM
> 
> Now a little bit about the actual chapter. I am full well spinning the fact that MC is covered head to toe to my advantage. Of course she might just prefer modest clothing, but I am too angsty to be content with that. Second of all, the way she acts, always offering advice, trying to help, being very insightful as to what might be going inside one's head and heart...that strikes me as something I (and I am sure many others) do when they want to distract others and themselves from personal problems and struggles. That is the base I am building on. 
> 
> Without more autor gibberish,  
> let's get started.

Everything was warm and hazy, tinted with diffused hues of red and gold. Maggie floated in that delightful state between dreaming and waking up, cuddled tight in Liora-scented heaven. Liora's body temperature was much higher than normal human's would be. Whether that was due to the magic or something else Maggie didn't know. But as an epitome of a human icicle, she most certainly didn't mind. 

The body beside her shifted. 

Suppressing a whine that was about to rip out from her throat, Maggie squeezed her eyes shut even tighter, bracing herself for the brightness of the room. In her head she cursed her brain, delighting in keeping her awake, plagued with worries and doubts at completely wrong time.

 _The delights of adulthood,_ mused Maggie, about to rub her eyes. It was right then when she realised one of her arms was wrapped around Liora and the other squished between their cuddled bodies. Rubbing eyes in the morning, decided Maggie very quickly, was unnecessary. And most definitely overrated.

Liora shifted again, so slightly it was barely noticeable. 

Sighing, the brunette finally opened her eyes. Even with the instinct to close them again immediately in hopes of more sleep, Maggie never wanted to again. 

Liora seemed to be asleep still. Her head rolled to the side and the sunrise illuminated her skin, turning the silver of her hair and lashes into blazing fire. Her full lips were parted ever so slightly, but her breathing was quiet. 

Maggie, who very often cried when seeing beautiful things, was quite sure she had never seen anybody more breath taking. Paintings and antique statues paled in comparison.

Deciding she most definitely didn't want Liora to wake up yet, she wondered what it would take to convince Liora to spend more time (ideally all day) in bed, a tangle of blankets and limbs as they were. Almost immediately, Maggie was forced to stop entertaining the thought, because her brain immediately decided it wanted to think about things they could do when spending the day in bed. And that was not good. Not when Maggie turned tomato level red and Liora could wake up any second. 

Gazing at the picture perfect face next to her, wondering yet again how did she get so lucky, the nasty voice she knew so well appeared yet again. 

_Would you look at that? Such beautiful, kind, caring person. I wonder, what does she even want with you? Besides taking her mind off of the stress and problems, that is. Just look at yourself, so pathetic, mooning over her. Yearning for somebody who will never be truly yours. You'll be forced to leave sooner than later. And she will just forget you._

No matter how hard Maggie tried, there was no way she could shut the voice up. She never could. And now that it started taking, it planted a seed in her head. Maggie knew there was no way she could stay in bed. If she did, the voice would come back and keep on talking. It would spew doubts, self-loathing and negativity, which Maggie fought very hard to keep from her life day after day. 

Struggling to contain her breathing, she gently untangled herself from the sleeping woman, quickly swinging her legs over the side of the bed, hoping Liora was tired enough to keep sleeping long enough for Maggie to get ready. 

But of course not. The woman seemed to have her senses sharp even in her sleep, immediately waking up upon the loss of her bedmate. 

"Maggie, dear?" 

Her voice did that adorable thing when it cracked and softened. The brunette's heart twitched in her chest, urging her to roll over and pepper the beautiful face with kisses. But the voice was still there. Still rude. Still hurtful. The words it said echoed in Maggie's mind like taunting song. 

Taking a deep breath, Maggie searched for her slippers, back still turned to Liora. When she spoke, her voice was as calm and happy as it always was. Hooray to the life time of living with 'fake it 'till you make it' as existential motto.

"Everything is okay Liora. I just need to go to the bathroom. Sleep for a little longer and I'll get us some breakfast, hmm?" 

Liora hummed in agreement, the rustling of sheets indicating she took Maggie up on her offer and rolled over. Quickly making her way, for the bathroom, the younger woman thanked her lucky star. If she was any worse at acting, Liora would most definitely catch on. 

Shutting the door behind her, Maggie sank down, resting her face on the cold tiles and just breathed.

She could tell Liora, of course. Should tell her, probably. Logically, she knew the other woman would understand. Possibly disarm any worries and insecurities she might have. But that would mean having to go deeper into what was really wrong with her. And who knew how she would react to that. 

Whatever. Maggie was here to lighten Liora's load, to support her. Not to add onto it. 

With that said, she got up. 

_Get dressed._

She did, checking the tights she wore weren't too opaque and double assuring herself that the sleeves of her uniform wouldn't ride up throughout the day. They were high enough as it was and Maggie had no desire to explain why there were scars on each of her arms. Old and faded, the brunette had a sort of bittersweet relationship with them. 

On worse days, they reminded her of the pain she went through. They made her feel weak. On better days, she was proud of them, because they were witness to what she went through, how she became better. On most days. 

Still, she had no desire to explain that to anybody. Not unless absolutely necessary. 

_Wash your face. Clean your teeth. Brush your hair._

Maggie did, following step after step, repeating that what the voice said wasn't true all over again.

By the time she was almost finished applying meticulous layers of makeup, she felt better. All the bad got pushed into the back of her head, behind the wall where all the things she wanted nothing in common with were stored away.

Liora fell asleep again, her face buried in a pillow, hair a messy silver halo around her head. Maggie's heart twitched, and she hurried into the kitchen.

Small smile appeared on her face. She knew this would make Liora happy. And it would give her energy to face the day. As the anniversary event neared, they turned more stressful with each passing hour.

The thought of doing something for the person she adored gave her energy she has lacked until now and in no time, she was carrying up a tray full of breakfast assortments, coffee for herself and tea for Liora.

Quietly opening the door, Maggie sat the tray aside, carefully sitting next to Liora. Heart hammering in her chest, she bent down, kissing her forehead, fingers getting lost in the mass of soft silver hair. It felt so very special, being able to touch Liora like this.

Maggie's breath caught in her throat as those magical eyes fluttered open, smile appearing from behind her hand as she yawned.

Adorable. Precious. Too precious for this world. 

While Maggie was busy being a gay mess, Liora sat up against the pillows. How, just how could anybody be so perfect seconds after walking up, Maggie had no clue.

"I brought breakfast."

Liora smiled more fully, biting her lip in an entirely too distracting way before sneaking her fingers behind Maggie's neck and pulling her down for a kiss.

Just like that, the last annoying snippets of the voice inhabiting her brain shut up, and Maggie melted. The kiss was soft and sweet.

Upon pulling away, Maggie blushed entirely too much as she handled Liora her tea cup. 

"Thank you," murmured the other woman, her cheeks stained as well. 

The breakfast was a quiet affair, the two of them eating in a comfortable silence, occasionally trading few words or tangling their fingers together. 

After, Maggie went down to clean the remains while Liora got ready. Soon enough, the others piled in and started preparing for the day, chatting as Runa grumbled, very clearly not a morning person. 

After that, it was a blur. The cafe opened, customers started piling in and everything went as it always did. Maggie served, chatted with regulars and trailed after Liora. 

Nothing new.

But somehow, she couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was going to go wrong.

Sooner than later, the closing time neared. More customers trailed out than in. Maggie was busy wiping the tables when she tensed. Sudden urge to look up came over her. And so she did, only to come face to face with a very formal, stern looking man.

Maggie's brain went into overdrive. It couldn't be another control, right? They already had that. Maybe they just wanted to make sure...no, no, except for that fishy fiasco, everything turned out perfect.

Maybe...maybe it was just a tired man looking to unwind after a long day at work.

Maggie was never a religious person. But at that moment, she prayed to whoever might be willing to listen that the scenario she thought of might be true.

As soon as she saw how the man sized her up, looking at her as if she was something lesser, her heart froze and stopped, brain screaming red alert. This was it then. 

Where was everybody? 

"You...must be Ms. Margaret then, am I correct?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for the support this fic got right off the bat. It means the universe to me.  
> Comments and kudos fuel me like explosive cherries fuel Dante.  
> As always, you can come scream with me on my tumblr, which is nightmarish-fae.  
> All the love,  
> M.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit hits the fan and things might or might not get a little better after they get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...am sorry. Truly, deeply sorry for not posting when I said I will. Work has been hectic (I work six days out of seven, usually from 11 pm to 11 am with two hour break) and it's gonna get even worse before school starts again in two weeks. But I like my job my boss and his wife are absolute sweethearts, so it's not that bad. I just ask you to bare with me. The updates will be very sporadic. With that being said, have another chapter. It is uncorrected, so please bare with any errors you might find until I go over this and get rid of them. 
> 
> M. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACK

Immediately, Margaret's brain went quiet, save for one little quiet ' _fuck'._

She just gaped and stared like a very unattractive goldfish. The small woman almost didn't even notice the panic creeping up, shocked as she was, until it already had her, closing above her head and pulling her under like wild water.

The lump of grey whatever-it-was filling her skull didn't help much either, all rational thinking out of window. It screamed and wailed, the only coherent sound a litany of fear and sheer terror.

_awayawayaway they'll take you away you'll forget everythingeveryoneLiora you'll never remember LioraLioraLioraLiora where is everybodysomebody help pleaseplease I can'tcan'tcan't_

Still staring at the intimidating man in front of her, Maggie stuttered out a nod along with something vaguely resembling an affimative response.

The brunette could barely think and breathe, let alone speak properly. The man measured her with raised eybrow, clearly not considering Maggie worth more than a piece of dirt on his shoe.

"Well then...I am the official sent by the government to deal with the human...you...that stumbled upon our world. I suppose we might as well get done with it right away."

Maggie's wide eyes flicked towards the hand reaching out to grab her. As if encountred by a mortal threat she flinched away, her entire body trembling. Had she had her mind together enough, Margaret would be thanking her lucky stars. The jerky movement sent her straight to the pile of plates on the table behind her. Loud, clattering noise followed, finally attracting attention of the others, wherever they were.

Emeril and Runa poked out their heads first, eyes widening as they, very quickly, realised what was going on. Maggie was too busy drowning in sea of panic to realise what was happening around. To her, it all happened very quickly, accompanied by pounding of her heart and rushing blood.

There was a slight commotion as the girls got the rest of the staff together, then more and more noise as they hurried to them. 

Suddenly, breathing got a little easier. Maggie, even as panicked as she was, sensed a familiar warmth. 

Liora. Liora came. 

But not even the magic that the other woman was could weaken the firm grasp the panic had on Margaret. 

She actually had next to no recollection of what followed after the staff came, later coming to rely on her friends to fill the gaps.

"Hello, my name is Liora Skyheart, I am the owner of Sweet Enchantments. How may I help you?"

The official didn't sound as condescending now that he was taking to somebody magical, but he was still as snotty as could be.

"Yes, yes, we know of you and your pet project, Ms. Skyheart. I have been sent by the government to take care of the human."

Just there, a little bit of fear could be noticed setting into Liora, her posture a tad too strained, eyes too glossy.

"But surely you don't want to take her away right now? Does the government not want to find out just how it was that a human managed to cross the barrier?"

At this point, Liora was just playing for time. Had Maggie had enough of her mind present, she would notice how the rest of the staff flocked around two of them. 

As it was, she struggled to breathe and not to cry, her mind already busy taunting her with how ridiculous she looked and acted. 

"That may well be if said human was something special. What I see is a mere child, too scared to talk to a foreigner. Let's get this dealt with so everyone can get back to their bussiness."

The words hit close. Anxieties and doubts Maggie worked so hard to get rid off roared to life again. From then on, it was a steep spiral, further and further into the panic until there was no way out.

Liora was speaking again, tone of her voice not so pleasant anymore, her words sharp and spiky, clearly defending her partner. 

Margaret, however, didn't hear any of that. She ran. Tripping over her legs, tables and chairs, she ran and ran.

Maybe they were shouting at her to stop. Maybe they reached out for her. 

But Maggie was, for all intents and purposes, deaf and blind, her only need and goal to get away. 

Finally stopping, Maggie paid no mind to her surroundings. She merely sunk to the ground, curling into tight ball, trying to breathe.

She was unsure of how much time passed. She was unaware of her surroundings or the fact that it started to rain. They only things Maggie knew were the rocking motion and the fact that she needed to breathe. 

That is how they found her, tiny, wet, crying ball hidden by the back of the restaurant.

Maggie had a bit of her own mind back by then, stopping her rocking and crying a little harder. How could she even go back? How could she face these people?

"Maggie, dear?"

Liora's voice was like a balm to her frayed...well...everything. But she still couldn't answer and flinched away from the hand nearing her.

Maggie didn't need eyes to see Liora's hurt expression. It only served her to cry harder. She wanted Liora's touch, Liora's comfort. So why couldn't she accept it?

"Bugger of everyone, you're not helping, crowding her like this. She's having a panic attack."

Runa? That had to be Runa.

Margaret's train of though got broken as the panic flared again. Liora's presence faded, another nearing her.

She could hear Runa crouching to be closer, but still keeping her distance. 

"Mags, I need you to look at me. Can you do that?"

Runa's voice was not unkind, but also very firm, forcing Maggie to obey. Green, bloodshot eyes peeked from behind trembling fingers.

"Great. Now, I need you to listen to me and breathe. Are you breathing? Okay...nobody is taking you away. Nobody is taking your memories. You're safe here with us and the idiot is gone."

Runa spoke slowly, carefully stretching each word to get the message through, making sure Maggie was keeping eye contact. 

"Do you get what I'm saying?"

The ball gave a shaky nod. Everybody released a sigh of relief.

"Bomb, okay. Do you think it would be okay to touch you now Mags?"

The ball hesitated, hiding her face again before nodding ever so slightly. Everybody watched as Runa carefully came closer, gradually touching more and more until she had Maggie lifted. She and Liora exchanhed firm nod. And just like that, they all began moving again.

Maggie might have fallen alseep. Or fainted, because when she opened her eyes, she wasn't cold and she could breathe. Everything around her was soft and smelled familiar. Like love. Like home.

Her chest ached and her eyes felt like sandpaper.

Snippet by tiny snippet, recollection of everything that happened and came back. Her body was about to tense and provide beautiful example of flight instinct, but there was warm hand resting on her own, soothing like nothing else.

Unbidden, woe-is-me groan ripped out of Maggie's thorat. Immediately, the hand on her arm moved and squeezed.

"Maggie, darling, you're awake!"

The worry was both audible and visible. It made Margaret want to disapper from this plane of existence. Liora's hand retracted, howering in the air nearby as if unsure.

The younger woman flinched, cleaning her throat. 

"I...changed your clothes."

Before Maggie had another chance to panic, the other woman continued. 

"By magic. I wasn't...well, I wasn't sure how you'd handle the touching."

Maggie could have cried again. She adored that woman so very much. Clearing her throat again, her voice was very tiny. Very fragile.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to embarass you. And I didn't...didn't mean to push you away, I swear, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." 

There was silence, during which Maggie was afraid she messed up awfully. Again.

Then a heavy sigh, rustle of clothes and a movement.

Before she knew what was going on, Maggie found herself enveloped in tight hug. She tensed before sinking into it, hands clutching Liora's clothes, face buried into her neck.

She wanted to talk, to explain, at least something, a little piece. But sleep was tugging on her mind again, vision foggy and fading fast.

Liora, bless her perfect, radiant soul, seemed to know just what was going on.

"Sleep, my heart, sleep. We can talk when the new day comes. Heavens know this one was more than enough."

Maggie sighed, already almost unconscious again. But then, she felt a soft kiss against her hair. A murmur followed, one that gave her hope not everything might be completely wrong with world. 

"We can spend as much of tomorrow lazing about as you'd like." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be pure, unfiltred fluff. We all deserve it, the all deserve it.   
> As always, thank you for all your lovely support, kudos and comments. You can come scream with me about fandoms on my tumblr, which is nightmarish-fae. Don't hesitate to hit up my ask box if you wanna. All the love,  
> M.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was a little short, for which I apologize, but it was only a prologue. As soon as I know in detail where I want to go with this, I will post longer chapters, hopefully often.  
> Every kudo and comment gets a sweet treat from Sweet Enchantments xD <3  
> You can also come scream with me about fandoms on my tumblr, which is https://nightmarish-fae.tumblr.com/  
> Thank you, until next time.  
> M.


End file.
